I feel like michigan is the boyfriend that screws up over and over again and I'm the girlfriend that keeps giving chances.... Omg I'm that girl... Ugh

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you learn to appreciate them when their right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust noone but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together." 

— Marilyn Monroe

cleaning

finally cleaning the apartment and realizing i have WAY too many....

bikinis
michigan tees
michigan hoodies
duffle bags
usb cords?!
hair products
mismatched socks
dirty dishes

ok some of those arent bad... hah

portfolio is the bane of my existence

"if you don't know just how you feel,
don't say those sweet things that you know i'd wanna hear
and if you don't know, just what to think
then put your thoughts away and keep them out of reach
haley don't hurt me if you don't know
i could have moved on long time ago"


mmmmm love me some needtobreathe. they will be at the intersection nov 2
and since i have that night off already... i just might go?


my portfolio is finally coming together ahh. i promise i will post some examples of it
sometime soon. i see people are checking out my carbonmade site, embarassing
that site needs to be updated like WHOA!


its gonna be weird not making a trip out to ann arbor this weekend... i dont know what i will do with the extra 4 hours of time that is usually taken up by the drive there and back.


oh wait... more homework. senioritis anyone? 


also, where can i find the book titled How To Be The Most Extraordinary Designer Ever: For Dummies.... does it even exist? blah...


j

to all you who tried to warn me and tried to tell me to be careful and guard my heart...

i'm really sorry i didn't listen to you

back to square one

and i just wasted almost two weeks of my life...

im in class early...

i think i was just overly excited for OT at lunch today because im in class 30 minutes early!

and its a class that people dont even show up to until like 9:30? 

its ok, i needed some chill time

im listening to kari lynch's ep that i finally bought

GREAT concert last night

except for those two weird blondes at the end that people claim are sisters

i think they are 

LOVERS

haha... ok im gonna go be productive

hi tuesday...

hi my name is jessica rieth smith

im going to be an interior designer AND a graphic designer


.... that is just too exciting providing i get a job

i'm just a little bit caught in the middle
life is a maze and
love is a riddle

jack talk thai reallllll good

found a new interest.... its called thai food
i used to hate it
but tonight i fell in love with tom yum soup with tofu
and tofu pad prik

haha... prik... hahahahaha its so funny right?

now im plowing through this ASID competition floor plan
trying to fit 2790 square feet of required space into a 3390 square feet of existing space
for all you mathematicians out there, that leaves me approximately
600 square feet for hallways and structure (walls are 6" thick)... it sounds like a LOT of space but its not

someone please shoot me now

Time for some football..... Vamos azul!

I'd like to think the best of me is still hiding up my sleeve...

its almost the weekend!

mood: contemplative
music: ice- lights
(NERD ALERT)

headed home tomorrow to see the fam
and for the delaware state game woot woot

this week went by fast, but im now so unbelievably confused
that its not even funny

just trying not to get my hopes up... woops too late

in other news, kendall is welcoming me with arms wide open
as i tack on two more semesters, giving me a minor in graphic design
im pretty stoked and pissed about it all at the same time.
still isnt written in stone. and it wont be until i show up for the first day of class... haha

ok off to kims for some hw and to watch the proposal :)

wednesday... EARLY

my life's roller coaster is going too fast and giving me whiplash...


hi my name is jessica and im
confused
tired
overwhelmed
and just generally wanting to stay in bed today

oh did i mention i might sign up for another 2 semesters of school thanks to my epiphany of minoring in graphic design... whats my deal?!

it doesnt even matter what i do, im unhappy in this city.

im going to leave grand rapids so far behind that i couldnt look back even if i wanted to.

its monday again...

class starts in 5 minutes
i didnt write my paper for next class, well i started it, but its not done ugh
some "person" FORCED me to stay on the phone til like 1:30am

tryin to keep my chin up and think about things to look forward to this week
...
...
nothing comes to mind
except for friday when i get to go home

2 min

time for class

Flat tires are the cheese to my macaroni...

Dear michigan defense,
Please play like you
WANT
THIS
Thank you,
J

Headed to visit brother bear :)

Just realized I've been skipping past john mayer songs lately... I'm not happy about it...

week one

longest week of my life hands down
yes, a week ago today, things were normal
one little mishap can change it all.... ridiculous
keep thinking ill just wake up and this will all be a nightmare...

its so much easier to be mad at him

headed over to kims for some pumpkinness and scary movies

ive got it covered with cans of food
filtered water and pictures of you
im not coming out until
this
is
all
over

is it the weekend yet?

great night, great friends

our new found friend, mr ran ortner, won the $250,000 prize tonight for the first annual artprize!

his work, open water, is an INCREDIBLE painting. congrats to him. ran is a really down to earth guy, so im super happy for him. roadtrip to nyc with the girls to visit him soon? yes please!

found a new little hole in the wall bar uptown gr

rocky's

there was a band there. real chill. loved it.

class tomorrow :(

and sleep now :(

(which as we know means sitting in bed with a tissue box and waiting for my 7am alarm to go off)

night

I'm a sucker for musicians... Ughhhh

Not falling asleep until 345am then waking up at 7am...

so
much
FUN!

"I love you, but I don't like you"
-owen, the 3-year old I nanny

why are nights the hardest.... i was doing just fine today...

:(

a blog about blogs?

epiphany.... working cures all. i had no time to think about things at work.

it was fantabulous.

on another note, im wishing this blogger thing did that one thing where

it asks your song of the moment.

ya know, like livejournal. ok dont look mine up, that'd be embarassing.

but ok i just looked at it.

it asks like your song of the moment, your location at the moment, your mood at the moment.

thank you blog

for caring all these things about me right?!

location: leaning on my bed, wearing my lady gaga wig (ok it didnt ask what i was wearing)

mood: surprisingly better than last night

song: some good girl rock like liz phair or paramore

ok that was dumb. but everyone has thier embarassing diaries or blogs somewhere.

ex: my moms diary from when she was younger (they didnt have blogs) always used to say what she ate for dinner... HAHAHAH..... MOM THE MEATLOAFFFFFF!!!!!

i did happen to find a great quote in one of my last live journal entries that applies to my life currently:

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses. You build up this whole armor, for years, so nothing could hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life. . .you give them a piece of you. They don't ask for it. They do something dumb one day like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so a simple phrase like "maybe we should just be friends" or "how very perceptive" turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a should-hurt, a body-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain.
I hate love"

BEAUTIFUL quote... i dunno what its from.

omg i totally dropped my cell number and dorm room address... someone couldve stalked me and killed me... geez. LOL and my room phone JUST IN CASE!

there is literally one post that says all these great things i did that night, montgomery gentry concert, hung out with one of the hottest seniors at my highschool, and had a secret admirer cowboy at the concert who gave me a rose.... and then i end with "i had a bad night :("

ok.

im done

WASTING

your time

ill post again if i come along a more embarassing post!

wednesday

this is your life... right now... it doesn't wait for you to get back on your feet.

its over, officially.

cons:

-im a wreck

-i cant sleep

-i cant eat, but when i can, i eat junk

-above all, i miss him

pros:

-i get a fresh start

-today is a new day, and all those other optimistic bull-sh*t sayings that make u feel happy about the state of your life in the current moment

-God has picked out my soulmate, i just havent met him yet

you just made me wish that i never met you....

congratulations (if that was your plan)

tuesday part 2

livi was shockingly cavalier about my not being prepared for critique today

i guess some professors do have a heart

dear neighbors,

i apologize for leaving my apartment without pants

i havent been myself lately, even though myself is

not very fond of pants. who needs pants anyways

but, for your sake and the sake of my granny panties,

i will wear pants next time i exit the apartment.

sincerely,

j

also, did i tell you that my complex is making me put all my porch stuff

inside due to some silly powerwashing/painting. THERE IS A GRILL IN

MY LIVING ROOM! annoying....

tuesday

and today i dont feel like leaving the apartment

blah

i had to email my teacher

and let her know i wouldn't be prepared for critique tomorrow

due to a personal life crisis (i didn't use that word but maybe i should've)

like they care, personal lives mean nothing to professors

unless its them that got sick, or had car problems, or woke up late...

life's

not

fair

keep breathing

december.

i need to make it to december.

on a smaller scale, it would be nice to make it to friday. or even to the end of today.

i get to see colby tonight. perfect timing. we are going to dinner, i could use some sushi or something. i could really use a colby hug. he gives good hugs.

i need to clean my apartment, desperately.

its getting gross. laundry, dishes, just stuff everywhere in general. but i get home and i just want to be in bed. with his hoodie. and my blanket.

1 hour 30 minutes until i get to go home. having the day off of work was a blessing in disguise.