like dis ---> :)

i like a boy.... i like a boy.... i like a boy HEY HEY HEY HEY!

(make sure you sing that)

oh and i had an interview today, i find out about it tomorrow. an interview... a boy.... sometimes the tables turn for the better and all you can do is thank the big guy in the sky.

:)

exhausted

someone said to me today "you are a cat. all you do is sleep."

it made me laugh until i realized it was quite accurate. im tired all the time. not from being sick, or lack of sleep, or anything like that. i think im so exhausted from doing nothing. i know it doesn't make sense.

i left a grand rapids week of leaving the apartment at 7am and not getting home til 10pm or later. always on the go, always a new project or challenge or struggle. and here i am sleeping in til noon. applying for job after job. working on crappy freelance projects. staring at the same four walls until 4am. and repeat.

im exhausted of the lackadaisical process thats getting me nowhere.

and to top it off, if my stupid self messes things up the one good thing that has finally come my way... lets just say it won't be pretty.

-j

this is how it works

apply
apply
apply
apply
apply
rejection
apply
apply
apply
apply
call- talk to someone stupid that doesn't know HR's extension
call- leave voicemail
call- leave voicemail
call- leave voicemail
apply
apply
apply
rejection
rejection
kind rejection- "you seem really great, but we are choosing someone else"
apply
apply
accidentally send wrong company wrong cover letter... oops

wait...wait...wait... (all the while, repeating all the above)

no responses.... crash... exhaustion



the score is:
job recruiters: 2000
jessica: 0

i rarely listen to kanye... but

lets have a toast for the douchebags

blah blah blah

busy

busy busy busy! so excited. i have client meetings this week and projects im sending to production. sometimes feeling like a grown up isn't all that bad

dont worry, i still sleep in til 10/11 every morning :)

ugh

its really about time i started seeing a shrink... seriously im an idiot